Reflection

My essay refinement process has improved throughout the term. I think a big problem a lot of young writers have is being too attached to their work. After writing a long piece, whether I really believe that it is the best work I can produce, I will be too attached to my work to intensely refine or scrap it. I’ve learned to detach myself from my writing enough to realize when a piece isn’t going well, and how I can immediately turn it around for the best. A major portion of that belief stems from laziness. I remember used to saying to myself that why would I want to restart this whole essay when I already put so much effort into it? What I’ve come to learn that the final product is worth the extra effort put into the refinement.  

I was excited to start my extended metaphor comparing anger to a cup of coffee. What I was not excited about, was the turnout. The original version of the extended metaphor was not what I wanted it to be, I did not go about it the way I should have. Even after submitting it, I thought there was so much more I could have done with that piece. For re-submission, I completely scrapped the entire extended metaphor, except for the idea. The new result was on par with what I originally wanted:

You wait in line, order in mind. After paying you wait at the counter, and pick up your drink. A table opens up and you sit down, put your cup down and look at it. Steam ascends from the cup, from the hot brown liquid. The sweet golden drizzle- once shaped like a leaf- melts into the creamy foam, dissolving into the espresso and steamed milk. The surface of your drink becomes one monochromatic khaki color, and the steam subsides. You failed your exam, slept through lecture, lost your phone charger, your entire family is coming to YOUR house for thanksgiving, and your bank account balance matches your GPA. Anger is a cup of coffee. The bold, lively, strong, rich and full hearted base of stress, with extra fluff added on top. Steamed milk or soy, sugar, syrups, whipped cream, extra drizzle, mocha cookie crumble and Brule crumbles on top and piled on, like homework, studying, laundry or making that awkward thank you call to your aunt who sent you a card on your birthday- which you swear you will make tomorrow. But right before you want to scream "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE" - turkey leg in hand, you cool off. The  extra fluffy sugar in your life melts, and the steam goes away. The result is sweet and strong.

I really liked the concept, and the potential of this piece, but its execution went wrong. I had no trouble however, scrapping this entire piece in order to write it more successfully. What I have taken away from this term is learning to let go of a piece that you know you can make better with extra effort.

I have also learned how to play with, and manipulate my writing to produce a specific effect. I chose to pair the 200 word sentence, and the six sentence piece because they both evoke two distinct tones  that contrast with each other. The six sentence piece actually follows the 200 word sentence chronologically, they are both on the same subject. In the 200 word sentence, I discuss my dazed and confused emotions that bled into each other; versus the six word piece that is clear, cut and concise, where  I came to terms with my emotions. I added the third paragraph as a conclusion that merged the two types of syntax: long and loose versus terse.